Gak berasa, it's been months since I last wrote this blog. It's been neglected this whole time. Walaupun gak ada yang baca, I feel obligated to update it once in a while you know?
Neeways, I'm outta high school and off to university! hurray! No more killer teachers, no more biology (I'm taking industrial engineering, so there's no way I'm gonna meet up with biology), and most of all, gak ada pemaksaan penghormatan towards...you know. (but if you don't, what I meant was teachers). So karena udah graduate dari highschool, jadilah sekarang aku nganggur slama kurang lebih tiga bulan (mostly because of UN dimajuin sih). You know what I did to kill time? I rented more then TEN (yes, ten) movies at one time, and returned it just in 5 days. Semenganggurnya aku sampe minjem segitu banyak.
Minggu lalu, karena yakin bakalan bete di jakarta slama berhari-hari, aku minjem 15 film dari jogja, lalu aku bawa ke jakarta sekarang. But you know what, baru aku tonton 4 biji. kenapa? karena ternyata oh ternyata aku tidak nganggur selama di jakarta. tiap hari pergi gara2 ada kawinannya anaknya temennya mamaku (wow this is confusing) It was last night though, the climax of the wedding ceremony. And when I said climax, oh hell it was the climax. Aku dateng ke ceremony nya bersama mila, karena takut saya akan jadi kambing congek di sna sendiri. Aku bilang ke mila, betapa senangnya diri ini datang ke wedding ceremony si mbak ruri (yg nikah) karena banyak makanan enak2. but you know what? just as soon the wedding ceremony started, the dessert booth (yg notabene udah jadi bidikan ku selama nunggu yang nikah dateng) was fully crowded. gak cuma anak2 aja, ibuk2 juga banyak. damn! mo ngambil kuenya susah gilaaa, oh eff, mo ke boothnya aja susah banget. udah harus melewati rintangan dulu. rintangannya adalah: anak2 cina (ntah kenapa banyak anak2 cina) lari2 sambil berebutan ngambil kue, ibuk2 yg gak mo kalah ngambilin kue, dan bapak2-ibu2-remaja2 yg lalu lalang sambil bawa piring. aku, karena orang yg baik, berusaha untuk tidak menyenggol mereka. Tapi oh tapi saya yg disenggol2, pemirsa. Kagak bisa jalan. Cuma bisa diem di antara orang2. it frustrates me anyway, dikelilingi orang sebanyak itu.
ehem ehem. well yeah itu lah yg bikin hari ini aku tepar sampe jam 11 pagi. jarang2nya nih bangun jam segitu. abis itu, tidur lagi deh, hehe.
well back to my main focus. Did I mention that I rented plenty of DVDs last week? well one of them is this Sean Penn's movie Into The Wild. Aku udah nonton dari HBO sih, tapi cuma sempet nonton dari tengah2. I was so awe-struck by the scenery that I decided to rent it. Dua hari yg lalu kayaknya aku baru nonton nih film. My first thoughts? nothing. I was speechless. Kenapa? karena, gillaaa ni film bagus banget! Not only the scenery, the performance of the actors were top notch. Message yg di-delivered pun juga meaningful! I mean, the message it gave moved me. Abis nonton pun aku jadi mikir, kenapa selama ini aku cuma duduk diam aja? Kenapa aku gak berani mengeksplor lebih jauh segala yang aku anggap baru dan menarik? Kenapa aku terlalu memikirkan moral code? And social status?? Because I currently am staying in Jakarta, it's easy to see that social status is what these people are aiming for, what drives them. It does bug me. Long before I watched this movie. How you wear reflects your social status in here. And do I have to mention that everytime I go to the mall, these girls always look (well, glare actually) at me from head to toe just to check out how I dress? It's annoying! It's effing annoying! Well, I don't dress bad you know, I know how to mix and match just for my delight. I mean, I love to mix and match clothes, but that doesn't mean I love to be "check-ed" out. It's just for the sake of my enjoyment. Oh it sickens me.
Tiap ibuk2 ngumpul pun, yang namanya social status tetep aja dikejar. You know it when one of them asks where your kids go to school. Pasti ibuk2 ini akan bangga setengah mati kalo anaknya kuliah di UI atau ITB, dan akan show off ke semua orang. Atau pernah juga nih kejadian, aku nanya sama seorang ibuk2 waktu registrasi UGM, dia langsung aja ngomong kalo anaknya sebenernya keterima di UI lah, tapi gak mau lah dan blablabla. Aku gak ngiri, tapi aku rasa gak penting aja ibuk itu ngomong gitu.
oh oh social status. Thinking of it sometimes makes me wanna go out of the society and heads somewhere new, where I don't have to think about it.
sedikit curhat, selama ini aku selalu ngerasa kalo aku gak bisa terlalu dekat sama seseorang. I mean like, besties forever and ever. I can get close to someone new quickly, tapi gak pernah lebih dari acquaintance. Maybe because I moved a lot, so I avoid getting too close to people. Mungkin lebih baik aku dikelilingi orang baru daripada temen2 lama yang udah kenal aku dari TK. It leaves me wondering, what's wrong with me? Coba liat orang lain deh, kalo ketemu temen lamanya dia pasti jejingkrakan and supersuper happy. Sedangkan aku, bisa setengah mati mikirin topik pembicaraan. A different story if I met new people though. Aku bisa ngomong terus tanpa henti, and nanya2 everything general about them. It's this stuff, that makes me want to go out and travel. Because by travelling, I can meet new people. lebih2 lagi kalo bisa mempelajari culture and history nya mereka. or maybe, just go out alone, pergi sendiri. Away from people. Ntahlah, beberapa minggu ini aku jadi suka menyendiri. Call me anti-social for that, I don't care. But right now, I want to go away from all the people that I knew and be alone.
and I just remembered, my mom told me to get married when I passed 25 years old. GOSH! I didn't even think I would want to get married at that age! I was thinking, 28 or 29 years old I guess. I think 25 is way too young to be married. waaaay too young. Because at 25, you can do anything you want to, you know. Karena kalo aku udah nikah, pasti aku harus "live up to my husband's expectation of a good wife". Since I'm Indonesian, and a woman, I don't think I would be able to do what I want without being constricted. oh jadi berasa pengen lari aja nih. If I were a man, and had money, I would totally runaway to other countries by now, exploring the new world I had never seen -or thought- before.
and this is all because I watched one movie -__-
woops ya ampun, I talked too much! guess this is goodbye, see you later!
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