New

Aaah it's been a while since I last write on this blog. Things get a little hectic after college kicked in. New people, new things to learn. There are definitely ups and downs, and I still try to live with it. I ain't gonna lie that it was easy; it was hard, and it still is. I need to pull a few strings together to get a hang of things.

Sooo, college life. haha feels weird. I'm still a bit kooky with college life even though it's been going on for 3 months. It's so busy and tiring, and exhausting. I thought high school was tough. I mean, it was tough but it wasn't all tiring as college. I don't know why, but it feels draining me. Almost everyday I got home at noon, and for some occasions I could be very - very - late (late, like, 10 or 11 PM). The subjects are tougher than high school. I have no private teacher to run to if I get confused with some physics problem. And everyone is practically fighting for themselves, so I can't rely on their help. God this is so different from high school.

I had mid-term last week, and one delayed because of the ashes from Merapi. What I can tell you about mid-term is that it was such. a. catastrophe. I felt like a moron! My friends looked as if they could do those tests in a snap, but me? neeeeeeeeever gonna happen! urgh gosh I felt like I was the odd one out -_- how can they be so smart, but I can't? I have to fight hard to get their result, but they don't. It's not faaaair -____-

Aside from that, college friends are fun. They're very different people from my high school friends. That means adapting and learning new stuff. Learning their language and culture, it excites me haha. But there are some people that I haven't clicked with yet. I can only hope that I get along with everyone, no geng2an lah.

hmmmm what else to share.... No, I'm not gonna share anything about lovey-dovey here. There's enough exposure from facebook and twitter, so don't think about it muahahha

okay maybe that's it from me, see you in a jiff! ciao!

Quote Junk and Thoughts

"  The finest qualities of our nature, like the bloom on fruits, can be preserved only by the most delicate handling. Yet we do not treat ourselves nor one another thus tenderly."   - Henry David Thoreau

Come to think of it, why do people hurt each other? They treat orang utans, and such, as their own babies, but treat another as if they were irrelevant. I mean, what's going on? Am I missing something?

Quote Junk

"However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it hard names. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. God will see that you do want society" - Henry D. Thoreau

This is pretty much contradicts my moral grounding, but still partially resonates my understanding of the society.

Movie Review : The Informant! 2009

"Matt Damon is The Informant!"

7 out of 10

Matt Damon in The Informant! plays as Mark Whitacre, a seemingly normal family guy. Directed by Steven Soderbergh, with a few well-known actors, is a movie about Mark Whitacre helping the FBI to uncover the price fixing scandal in a big company that processes corns, ADM. It is loosely based on a real story (and novel) in the 1990s, when I was about as old as the Rugrats.

I spent the last 5 minutes of credits scratching my head. I didn't really get it at first, so I googled some of the stuff mentioned in the movie. I've never read the book - I didn't even know it existed -, I didn't know the scandal because I was still literally sucking my thumbs in those years, and I had no desire to search for some information on IMDB before I watched it either. So yes, I saw this movie with no expectations. And I got lost. Particularly because the movie sets in the main character's point of view. No, it's not that I'm dumb, I just don't want to spoil the fun here. You're listening to the voice-overs and seeing things from his point of view. He is not an average family guy. Let's just say that there is something wrong with him.

One thing I like from this movie is the cinematography. It is so 1990s, I love it. And the pink subtitles as well, it really took you back in to the '90s! I also love the voice-overs. It's like we're hearing what's in his head, you know. Even though he is facing a bad situation, his mind is somewhere else. Just like us. There is no voice-overs that explain what is happening with him, there is only his random thoughts. Like this for example : "When polar bears hunt, they crouch down by a hole in the ice and wait for a seal to pop up. They keep one paw over their nose so that they blend in, because they've got those black noses. They'd blend in perfectly if not for the nose. So the question is, how do they know their noses are black? From looking at other polar bears? Do they see their reflections in the water and think, "I'd be invisible if not for that." That seems like a lot of thinking for a bear." And this is happening when he is in a meeting with CEO of other companies, in other country! See how random that is? Praise for the writer. And praise for Matt Damon as well, for delivering a believable performance. I have never liked him, I never intended on watching his movies before, but I changed my mind after I saw this. Very subtle performance. I give it a 7 out of 10, because it has some plot holes. Yea well I'm not going to spill it here though, I have no intention of giving some spoilers here.

I recommend this movie to anyone that's not searching for a laugh-out-loud type of movies. Although it is listed as a comedy, it doesn't give you a Hangover-esque gags. The humors are all dry and dark - which I like. Well, that's it from me. Ciao!

My New Idol

Please welcome...Alexa Chung!

Yeah yeah, I know she's been around for quite some time. I just knew her "fashion-forward-quirky-attitude"-ness a few weeks ago. Frankly, I didn't give a damn about her before I found her. But then I saw this *pointing at the above picture*, I fell in love in an instant. You can say I got a girl crush on her. I mean, look at her! I love the way she wears her clothes. Well, not exactly because she has her own stylist. so I guess that means I love her stylist? But whatever, it suits her perfectly. She was a model for a few years, so that explains her good taste in fashion. And good taste in guys too. Yumm Alex Turner...

ehm. Okay that's it from me now. See you later! Ciao!

I AM...

BORED AS HELL.

PLUS, I'M HUNGRY.

CAN SOMEONE FEED ME, PLEASE?

DAMN I MISS MY CATS

FOUND A QUOTE!

I found a quote from the movie Little Miss Sunshine, and it's written me all over it. But first, pardon the language.

"You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest" - Dwayne

Your Only Presence Comforts Me..

"People feel like they don't deserve love...walking away quietly into empty spaces trying to close gaps to the past"

That, slapped me in the face. Awakened me from a very long sleep. Shook my entire universe (oke lebay)

Where did I find that? Why did it do so to me? 

I found that quote from a forum in a website about Christopher McCandless, the Supertramp. Someone was asking what that quote meant. I read the reply, and it was exactly the reason why I was so astounded reading it (you can read it here)

no, I wasn't abused. And no, I wasn't ostracized for being different. Well, at least that was what I thought. Maybe, because of rejection? Maybe. I can't recall one time I was being rejected. But maybe it happened under my conscience. Maybe someone had rejected me, without me knowing...without me, understanding what happened. Maybe I was taken aback. I refused to know that I was rejected, so I lied to myself. Deluded myself from the truth. Thinking, "oh everyone went through that, I'm not the only one treated that way". Maybe, that was only a lie I created for myself, to protect myself from getting hurt.

I've always thought of solitude, without knowing why I thought of that matter. I've always been too comfortable being alone. Maybe, that was the problem : I avoid rejection, so I chose to be alone.

and yes, I don't talk much when I'm around people I know. Even with my friends, I don't talk much unless I'm forced to talk. But you know what, their only presence has already comforts me. I don't need them to talk to me, I only need their presence.

But sometimes, they can't accept that. They don't want to be around someone they can't talk to. So yes, they do leave me. And that, made me feel rejected. But I was so deluded that I considered it as a normal behavior of them.

Dammit, I feel so pathetic right now. I pity myself. Good thing no one reads this blog.

found this picture from the internet. pretty much described what I feel right now.

Lone Day

first of all, I just wanna ask one thing : IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE THAT HAS BETTE DAVIS' MOVIES ?

fiuh, what a relieve.

Lone day. yep, not lonely, just...lone. Spent the day by myself today. No parents, just me. So, I had nothing to do. And even though I have piles of DVDs I haven't watched, I spent the day slacking around. Surfing the internet. Opening facebook, my blog, my friends' blog which they haven't updated yet. I also googled Emile Hirsch, you know, from my previous posts I have been saying how talented he was, but really. I didn't know a thing about him. so I googled him. 

let's just say that I stumbled upon a few videos of him - mostly were interviews about the movie he starred in. I never really knew he is such...a goof ball. He's really funny. He threw jokes in interviews I watched, and they were pretty hilarious. I hope he doesn't jump into comedy though. He's very talented. Not that I'm saying that comedy is not for talented people - I mean, look at John C. Reilly - but I think it's a waste of his talent.

DOES ANYONE HAVE A DVD OF A MOVIE THAT STARRED BETTE DAVIS ???? WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE ? JEZEBEL ? ALL ABOUT EVE ?? NO ???? OR MARLON BRANDO ??

ehm. well, let's end the day with a quote : "Success only breeds a new goal" - Bette Davis

ciao!

Movie Review : MILK 2008

"Hello, I'm Harvey Milk, and I'm here to recruit you!"

8 out of 10


First of all, I just wanna say that I'm not familiar of the work Gus Van Sant. I know his works are usually not mainstream, but I have never seen his works before.
Before I watched this movie, the only thing I know about Harvey Milk is that he was a gay-activist living in the era of 70's, and that was about it. So I pretty much had no idea who this man was.

MILK, directed by Gus Van Sant and starring Sean Penn, is a movie about a gay-activist fighting for gay rights. His name was Harvey Milk. The movie takes place between the late 60's to 1978. He once said to Dan White - the man that shot him - "that it's not about jobs or rights, that it's their lives that they were and still are fighting for." Up to this day, he was considered to be a hero for many gay people and the gay community. His story inspired many people throughout the years. His story, touched me.
I'm gonna lay it out for you. Before I made this review, I googled Harvey Milk, and watched his interviews on youtube just to see how he was really like. I paid attention on little details, like his mannerisms, the way he talks, the way he sits, the way he laughs.
And then off to Sean Penn's performance as Harvey Milk. Throughout the movie, I wasn't even thinking that I was watching Sean Penn, it was like I was watching somebody else. After I saw the real Harvey Milk, then I knew that I was watching Milk himself, not Penn. It was such a great performance by Penn, he really disappeared in his character so well. He really captured the essence of Milk, and what made Milk, you know, Milk. And he didn't make Milk as that perfect hero, he made him as realistic of human being Milk was. Brilliant performance.

But I think I must give the biggest compliment to Josh Brolin as Senator Dan White. He gave a fascinating performance. Brolin doesn't make Dan White the evil villain, he gives us different aspects of White. I was rather sympathetic of his character, actually. Not that I'm justifying what he did, it's just that I think Josh Brolin gives us the non-stereotypical bad guy in this movie.

Emile Hirsch, as Cleve Jones, gosh this guy has talent! He completely went through it. I mean, I almost believed that he was gay!
James Franco deserves the credit too, as Milk's lover.

Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Emile Hirsch, James Franco - with a group of actors like that, you can never go wrong. A beautiful film, though not a masterpiece, but it is almost getting there. I was hoping I got more insights on Diego Luna's character though. I wasn't sympathetic enough with him. But still, a great movie. Worth the watch, unless you're not homophobic and ultra-conservative.

P.S. : Castro is the place where Milk started his campaign, and the place where all the gay people gathered to give support for him. In this movie, Castro is a major plot of the movie. Without Castro, this story couldn't be told. When I was about 9 or 10 years old, I always passed Castro, you know, just walking along the pavements, or going somewhere with my family. I always passed Castro. Too bad I didn't notice that it was an historical place :(

Movie Review : Into The Wild 2007

*UPDATED*

"I now walk into the wild"

10 out of 10

Into The Wild is a movie about Christopher McCandless, who is running away to Alaska to seek adventure and hides away from the crazy society. "Your great adventure on Alaska," he exclaimed. Based on a true story, it covers his adventure in Alaska, and encounters several people that shaped his life.
After graduating from Emory University, he donated $24,000 from his savings to charity, and running of to the wilderness without his family knowing. No money, no ID, just him and the wild.

Sean Penn, the director of this movie, took almost ten years to get the McCandless permission to film this movie. Well, it was worth it. Emile Hirsch as Christopher McCandless is just flawless. With such little dialog, we could understand what he feels, just from Hirsch's facial expression. Superb acting. And William Hurt as Walt McCandless, oh what a talent. He only appeared once in a while, but we can instantly hate him and feel sorry for him at the same time. There is also the beautiful Catherine Keener as Jan, the hippie. You can't be any more believable than that! Hal Holbrook deserved his Oscar nomination for Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role. He didn't overact, just the perfect amount of sadness in his eyes. His portrayal of a lonely character is outstanding. Perfect. Oh and did I mention that Kristen Stewart is also in this movie as well? Yes, that Twilight girl. Boy, she can act. Her face when Hirsch's character refuses to sleep with her was beautifully deep. We can feel her heart breaks. And Vince Vaughn! He knew that he could act? He should do more of this kind of movie instead of those romantic comedies that doesn't even put great use of his talent.

The scenery in this movie, and the cinematography is just beautiful to watch. Gorgeous. The hot desert, the lonely Alaska, the warm South Dakota, the sound of the current - just marvelous. Sean Penn did a great job directing this movie. He captured every moment beautifully without making it such a big cliche.

Sean Penn proved us that he is a versatile actor. He directs as beautifully as he acts. This movie, is a masterpiece. Regardless of what people say how stupid and selfish Chris McCandless is, it is still worth the watch. But warning, this movie leaves you thinking about your life! And when you get there, just be sure you have as big as the courage of Chris McCandless to follow your dream. Ciao!

The New You

Gak berasa, it's been months since I last wrote this blog. It's been neglected this whole time. Walaupun gak ada yang baca, I feel obligated to update it once in a while you know?

Neeways, I'm outta high school and off to university! hurray! No more killer teachers, no more biology (I'm taking industrial engineering, so there's no way I'm gonna meet up with biology), and most of all, gak ada pemaksaan penghormatan towards...you know. (but if you don't, what I meant was teachers). So karena udah graduate dari highschool, jadilah sekarang aku nganggur slama kurang lebih tiga bulan (mostly because of UN dimajuin sih). You know what I did to kill time? I rented more then TEN (yes, ten) movies at one time, and returned it just in 5 days. Semenganggurnya aku sampe minjem segitu banyak.

Minggu lalu, karena yakin bakalan bete di jakarta slama berhari-hari, aku minjem 15 film dari jogja, lalu aku bawa ke jakarta sekarang. But you know what, baru aku tonton 4 biji. kenapa? karena ternyata oh ternyata aku tidak nganggur selama di jakarta. tiap hari pergi gara2 ada kawinannya anaknya temennya mamaku (wow this is confusing) It was last night though, the climax of the wedding ceremony. And when I said climax, oh hell it was the climax. Aku dateng ke ceremony nya bersama mila, karena takut saya akan jadi kambing congek di sna sendiri. Aku bilang ke mila, betapa senangnya diri ini datang ke wedding ceremony si mbak ruri (yg nikah) karena banyak makanan enak2. but you know what? just as soon the wedding ceremony started, the dessert booth (yg notabene udah jadi bidikan ku selama nunggu yang nikah dateng) was fully crowded. gak cuma anak2 aja, ibuk2 juga banyak. damn! mo ngambil kuenya susah gilaaa, oh eff, mo ke boothnya aja susah banget. udah harus melewati rintangan dulu. rintangannya adalah: anak2 cina (ntah kenapa banyak anak2 cina) lari2 sambil berebutan ngambil kue, ibuk2 yg gak mo kalah ngambilin kue, dan bapak2-ibu2-remaja2 yg lalu lalang sambil bawa piring. aku, karena orang yg baik, berusaha untuk tidak menyenggol mereka. Tapi oh tapi saya yg disenggol2, pemirsa. Kagak bisa jalan. Cuma bisa diem di antara orang2. it frustrates me anyway, dikelilingi orang sebanyak itu.

ehem ehem. well yeah itu lah yg bikin hari ini aku tepar sampe jam 11 pagi. jarang2nya nih bangun jam segitu. abis itu, tidur lagi deh, hehe.

well back to my main focus. Did I mention that I rented plenty of DVDs last week? well one of them is this Sean Penn's movie Into The Wild. Aku udah nonton dari HBO sih, tapi cuma sempet nonton dari tengah2. I was so awe-struck by the scenery that I decided to rent it. Dua hari yg lalu kayaknya aku baru nonton nih film. My first thoughts? nothing. I was speechless. Kenapa? karena, gillaaa ni film bagus banget! Not only the scenery, the performance of the actors were top notch. Message yg di-delivered pun juga meaningful! I mean, the message it gave moved me. Abis nonton pun aku jadi mikir, kenapa selama ini aku cuma duduk diam aja? Kenapa aku gak berani mengeksplor lebih jauh segala yang aku anggap baru dan menarik? Kenapa aku terlalu memikirkan moral code? And social status?? Because I currently am staying in Jakarta, it's easy to see that social status is what these people are aiming for, what drives them. It does bug me. Long before I watched this movie. How you wear reflects your social status in here. And do I have to mention that everytime I go to the mall, these girls always look (well, glare actually) at me from head to toe just to check out how I dress? It's annoying! It's effing annoying! Well, I don't dress bad you know, I know how to mix and match just for my delight. I mean, I love to mix and match clothes, but that doesn't mean I love to be "check-ed" out. It's just for the sake of my enjoyment. Oh it sickens me.
Tiap ibuk2 ngumpul pun, yang namanya social status tetep aja dikejar. You know it when one of them asks where your kids go to school. Pasti ibuk2 ini akan bangga setengah mati kalo anaknya kuliah di UI atau ITB, dan akan show off ke semua orang. Atau pernah juga nih kejadian, aku nanya sama seorang ibuk2 waktu registrasi UGM, dia langsung aja ngomong kalo anaknya sebenernya keterima di UI lah, tapi gak mau lah dan blablabla. Aku gak ngiri, tapi aku rasa gak penting aja ibuk itu ngomong gitu.

oh oh social status. Thinking of it sometimes makes me wanna go out of the society and heads somewhere new, where I don't have to think about it.

sedikit curhat, selama ini aku selalu ngerasa kalo aku gak bisa terlalu dekat sama seseorang. I mean like, besties forever and ever. I can get close to someone new quickly, tapi gak pernah lebih dari acquaintance. Maybe because I moved a lot, so I avoid getting too close to people. Mungkin lebih baik aku dikelilingi orang baru daripada temen2 lama yang udah kenal aku dari TK. It leaves me wondering, what's wrong with me? Coba liat orang lain deh, kalo ketemu temen lamanya dia pasti jejingkrakan and supersuper happy. Sedangkan aku, bisa setengah mati mikirin topik pembicaraan. A different story if I met new people though. Aku bisa ngomong terus tanpa henti, and nanya2 everything general about them. It's this stuff, that makes me want to go out and travel. Because by travelling, I can meet new people. lebih2 lagi kalo bisa mempelajari culture and history nya mereka. or maybe, just go out alone, pergi sendiri. Away from people. Ntahlah, beberapa minggu ini aku jadi suka menyendiri. Call me anti-social for that, I don't care. But right now, I want to go away from all the people that I knew and be alone.

and I just remembered, my mom told me to get married when I passed 25 years old. GOSH! I didn't even think I would want to get married at that age! I was thinking, 28 or 29 years old I guess. I think 25 is way too young to be married. waaaay too young. Because at 25, you can do anything you want to, you know. Karena kalo aku udah nikah, pasti aku harus "live up to my husband's expectation of a good wife". Since I'm Indonesian, and a woman, I don't think I would be able to do what I want without being constricted. oh jadi berasa pengen lari aja nih. If I were a man, and had money, I would totally runaway to other countries by now, exploring the new world I had never seen -or thought- before.

and this is all because I watched one movie -__-
woops ya ampun, I talked too much! guess this is goodbye, see you later!

Hmm. Udah lama aku gak buka blog. What is it, three months or so ? Rekor. (gak juga sik)

Well, I am back in nothing more than horrible condition. I don't know where to start. Or, maybe I shouldn't ?

Cuma satu kata deh yang bisa describe me properly, and that is CAPEK. I think I needed a break from all this. No, I'm not talking about school and home works -ya emang sih, sekarang lagi banyak2nya. Aku perlu break dari semua les-les dan bimbel-bimbel, dan acara2 gak penting dari sekolah. It's like, I don't even have time for myself anymore. I hate the fact that when I go home from school aku langsung les. I hate the fact that almost everyday aku pulang jam 5 sore. I also hate the fact that people have been giving me crap all day long. Tugas yang seharusnya tugas kelompok, kenapa malah rely on me ? Aku mau nyuruh mereka nyari bahan juga gak enak. I don't know why. But still, I acted like some jack-ass diva. Percobaannya aku sendiri yang buat, trus aku tinggal ngasih data ke kelompokku dan nyuruh mereka buat powerpoint and laporan out of it. Is that fair ? No! But that was exactly what I did! Ujung2nya, yang bikin pembahasannya juga aku, mereka tinggal nyari referensi2 sama informasi pendukung. Uh, so foolish of me.

Okeh, okeh, aku tau banyak dari kalian yang lebih sibuk dari aku. Atau yang dapet perlakuan yang lebih parah dari aku. I'm just whinning. Yes, I just got my period. And I had the worst PMS. So yeah, I'm pretty much over-sensitive right now. Kalo ada yang lagi bersikap selfish-selfish gak jelas yang biasanya kutolerate, I'll give em crap. Kalo ada yang lagi kekanakan-kekanakan gak jelas, I'll be bitchin'. Kalo ada yang lagi mo menangan yang biasanya juga kutolerate, well, go to hell.

Well moving on to another subject, I just wanted to ask my ol' pals from Voxistah: how y'all doing, folks?! (pake aksen country ala miley cyrus) Masih aktif gak nih ? Aku baru aja nemuin some video, yang nyanyi itu sbuah grup nyanyi namanya Celtic Woman (maaf gak bisa dilink, ngenetnya lgi pake hape). Cari deh di youtube. Whenever I listen to them, I remember voxistah. And it made me pretty much sad, because I miss singing together with you guys! :(
Well Wanda, if you read this, ping me! (sok-sok "ping me")

P.S. : I don't know bout you, but, kerasa gak sih kalo voxistah itu nama yang sedikit...erm, aneh ?

Things I want to do but too lazy to get it done

Things I want to do but too lazy to get it done :

1. Update Facebook
2. Ngisi blog yg ngupas tuntas tentang Holga 120 CFN
3. Hunting foto di Malioboro en kawasan Kotabaru
4. Ngapalin doa buat solat jenazah
5. Ngasih surat ijin ke pak wali kelas
6. Internetan gak lewat hape
7. Ngurusin account deviantart
8. Belajar fisika buat persiapan ULUM *never gonna happen*
9. Mintain Holga balik dari kakak klas yg lagi minjem
10. Mandi pagi. *yes, aku belum mandi pagi padahal sekarang udah jam dua siang. Don't ask why*
11. sms mas ku yang ngebawa kabur charger iPod ku ke Surabaya *darn, you !*
12. Buat ulang naskah drama Bahasa Indonesia karena kata gurunya gak ada klimaks. *meh*
13. Baca novel Rahasia Meede seharian sampe selesai *dan sampe mata berkantung dobel*
14. Tidur siang *dan gak bisa karena mo baca novel Rahasia Meede-dan terlalu malas untuk baca novel at the moment*
15. Ngidupin laptop buat internetan *males nunggu loadingnya yang kalo dikonversi jadi light years menjadi 360 juta tahun cahaya*
16. Latihan piano jazz, padahal dah dimarah2in sama mbaknya. *abis lagunya sangat gak penting untuk dimainkan. Mendingan mainin lagunya Kuburan yg Lupa Lupa Ingat*
17. Menyesali gak menonton UGM BNI Jazz, tapi terlalu malas untuk menyesali.
18. menulis list-list what I wanted to do but too lazy to get it done

don't be afraid, I do too

radical thoughts, poison in our minds
blackened your heart, blurs which defines
tried to clarify, but never clear enough
blinked your eyes, still have a gone

never tried to understand, never had regrets
which was done is now undone
knowing which was false, didn't cross your mind

ingorance was never a better choice

don't be afraid, I do too

mantengin komputer sampai mata berkantung empat

alo pipol! suda lama tidak update nih. maklum, lagi gak niat. *lho?*

news2nya gak banyak. minggu lalu jadinya aku ikut JDF meeting ituh. ternyata mbahas kepanitiaan dan byk hal lainnya yg gak bisa aku tulis semua disini karena jari2 tangan ku udah gempor. Aku ikut meetingnya ituh sama Rahma dan Kepleh. Aku dan Rahma pasang muka tebal. trus besoknya kita jadi ikut lomba di SMA 2, yang dimana kita juara 1. Dan gak bangga2 amat.tapi lumayanlah, dapet duit.hehe.untung lawannya gak aneh2. trus minggu berikutnya lagi, aku atina dan rani ikut lomba di UNY. dan sekali lagi, aku tidak niat ikut lomba. Rani juga lagi sakit. Dan yang sepertinya lagi semangat cuman atina. ngeliat lawan2nya, makin gak niat lagi. abis byk banget sih, 22 tim.. dan kebanyakan dari luar jogja. kalo dipikir2 kayaknya cuman tiga tim deh yang dari jogja.hem. sebenernya juga ada lomba lagi di UII, bertepatan dengan UNY. yg dikirim Rahma, kepleh, sma nia. Karena waktu di UNY ak sma atina gak meliat batang2 idungnya anak SMA 3 dan SMA 8, and not forgeting SMA 6, kita berasumsi mereka semua lomba di UII. Dan ternyata bener, mereka smua-kcuali SMA 8 kayaknya- pada ke UII smua. Yah walopun tim2 ebatnya pada ke UII, toh tetap gak menghentikan aku untuk BEGO. oya, aku lupa bilang kalo pas di UNY aku jadi third speaker, yang dimana aku paling lemah di rebuttle.yahyah.bisa ditebak gimana lombanya seperti apa: males2an casebuild (berlaku untuk aku dan rani, Atina semangat abis deh pokoknya), males2an dengerin opponent team, males2an ngerebutt (eh, klo yang ini cuma aku sih), males2an mikir pake logika, males2an dengerin reply, males2an dengerin verbal *eh enggak enggak..kita dengerin kok..*, males2 lah pokoknya. malesnya ya kayak sekarang ini, lagi males buat bikin tulisannya rapi. ya udah deh, jadinya kalah dua out of three rounds dengan tabungan margin -1,4. tapi kita skornya lumayan lho. coba kalo yang diitung duluan tuh skor. pasti bisa masuk tuh *pede*. eh tapi bener, kalo aku urutin berdasarkan skor ya, kita itu urutan ke lima, kalo gak empat. seperti apa kata Mbak Risty,"Kalian itu sangat2 unfortunate. Skor kalian lumayan kok, kalian kurang fortunate aja kalo di vp."

*sighing* entahlah, aku jadi males ikut lomba lagi. udah sering dimarahin mamah. sering ikut lomba tapi jarang menang. *ya iyalah gak menang, wong gak niat*

terus, minggu ini kita juga lagi banyak dapet tugas gak penting semacam drama dan role play. Bahasa Indonesia tugasnya drama, klo bahasa inggris tuh role play. sumpah gak penting. aku paling males deh drama2 kyk gini, karena drama2 yang biasanya dibuat itu gak "sejalan" sama the way I think and act. bukan berarti aku gak suka sama drama yang dibuat sekarang, cuman aku agak2 bingung aja sama konsepnya. maunya sih yang buat naskahnya itu ya yang punya ide, bukan semua orang yang buat naskahnya. Kalo kayak gitu mesti gak nyambung ntar dramanya.

oya, ada lagi tugas yang tambah bikin pusing dan lebih gak penting lagi: laporan ilmiah studi tour. Buat apa coba? buat bukti klo kita ikut? gitu? kan dah ada absen! iyaiya, aku tau kalo laporan itu sebagai syarat untuk dapet kartu ujian ULUM. tapi kenapa coba syarat nya MESTI BUAT LAPORAN ILMIAH STUDI TOUR? mbok yg lain kek..kayak nuntasin nilai2 ulangan harian yang belum tuntas dan tugas2 yg belum ditumpuk. Kenapa mesti LAPORAN ILMIAH STUDI TOUR ? i can't find any correlation between STUDY TOUR and FINAL EXAM. unsurprisingly confusing.

Oke, if you think that way, why don't you live with your SON and SPOIL him instead of YELLING at me constantly. Stop making reasons so that you can express your anger towards me. It's stupid. I hate it. I hate it when you're behaving like this

jogja debating...FISHERY ???

oke, aku gak tau apa hubungannya forum debat sama fishery, tapi itulah yg aku temukan di milis JDF. sempet bingung juga. ya iyalah, scra description nya pake ngomongin cool combro, marvelous teri, and fish stuff.. *geleng2*

officially the worst day of my life

yeah, aku bener2 gak tau mimpi apa malam sebelum tanggal 8 Mei 2009. Hari itu aku ada lomba debat di Mualimin. Kita bener2 gak ada preparation buat ikut lomba, scr dapet motion aja sehari sblom lomba. Jadi gak ada latian ato mbahas motion bareng. very, very, unprepared.

Tapi, se-gak-prepare2-nya kita gak pernah sampe ngalamin hal keak gitu. Sumpah, itu bakalan jadi kenangan (buruk) yang akan selalu terpatri dipikiranku *ceileh*. Aku jadi mengalami fase minder nih..

***

Bangun pagi, gak merasakan hal2 aneh. trus, langsung cabut ke Mualimin. Hari pertama biasanya pre-elim sebanyak tiga round. Round pertama, kita dapat motion impromptu. I didn't expect this at all. Jadilah aku panik sendiri. Untungnya menang, ngelawan Mualimat A dengan margin 3. Nia sama aku jadi best speaker. I thought to myself, maybe it won't be pretty bad as I tought it would be. Tapi waktu itu, I didn't know what's coming towards us..*mendramatisir*

Round 2, kita dapet temanya Economy. Timku langsung misuh2 *eh, sbenernya cuma aku sih*. Secara kita gak ngerti semua yg economy. Dapet government lagi. Trus kita nunggu priority dari tim lawan, lalu kita dikasih tau kalo kita dapet motion nomer dua.

THW implement US stress test as a standard

Mau nangis darah aja rasanya.
Jadilah kita ngawur2 definisiinnya, secara kite kaga ngerti apaan itu stress test. waktunya lomba, kita dapet surprising questions dari opposition team yg gak kepikiran ma kita, karen sibuk mikirin stress test. Jadinya kita jawab seadanya. Pas waktuny verbal, katanya split decision 2:1 dgn margin 2. Mereka menangin opposition. saat itu aku bener2 mo nangis darah. Selesai verbal, kita langsung ngaciiirrr...

sekitar beberapa jam sesudahnya, dimulai lagi pre-elim round ketiga. Round terakhir! Kita ude semangat gitu mo menang. Trus kluar deh tema buat debat, kita semua mlototin layar.

Feminism

*nangis* Kita dapet opposition skarang. Oke, oke. Tanpa pikir panjang, kita langsung nyerahin priority ke LO. Kluar deh motionnya.

THBT women should get an equal position in the House of Representative

*ngangguk2* Kita brainstorming. Mungkin karena dah gak niat2 banget lomba, kita jadi agak2 ngawur bikin casenya. Lagian, liat deh motionnya. Kita opposition. Brarti kita kan menentang motion itu kan ? mo ngomong apa coba ? Akhirnya, kita bawa2lah kuota 30% itu harusnya gak ada biar yg masuk parlemen tuh wanitanya yg bener2 capable. dat dit dut, abislah waktu buat casebuilding.

Kita dengerin first speaker government ngomong. Aku dengerin, tapi pikiran kemana2. Sempet mikir, kok kayaknya ada yg aneh ya ?

Nia : Heh Rahma *first speaker timku* ! case mereka tuh sama kayak kita !!
Yana : *pikiran masih melayang*
Rahma : *menatap first speaker dari government team dengan kosong*
Nia : CASE KITA SAMA KAYAK CASE MEREKA. KITA TUH KAYAK MALAH BUATIN CASE-NYA MEREKA LOH RAHMA.
Rahma : *menatap Nia, ketawa2 ngehe*
Yana : *terbangun dari alamnya* dia ngomong apa sih ?
Nia : *menjelaskan apa yang first speaker gov. team omongin*
Yana : ASTAGA. KITA NGOMONG APA NIH ?
Timekeeper : *ngetok dua kali, pertanda tujuh menit*
Rahma : *ketawa2* kita ngomong apa nih ??? aku challenge aja apa ya ??
Yana : HAH ?? CHALLENGE APAAN ???
Nia : HADUUH.. gimana kalo case kita ini, kita buat kebalikan aja? jadi kita mendukung kuota!
Rahma : Hem..hemm..hemm..*berpikir keras, sambil nggoyang2in kaki*
Yana : tapi..tapi..mo ngomong apa kalo' gitu..????
Timekeeper : I call upon the first speaker of the opposition team, Miss Rahma
Rahma : yaudah deh! seadanya aja! *bediri*
Yana : *pandang2an sma nia* kayaknya dia mo challenge deh.
Nia : hikshiks..liat tuh adju-nya ketawa2! aaaaaahhh..
Yana : sh*t! aku gak mau maju! aku gak mau diketawain sama tiga adju tuh!
Nia : *muka melas* aaaaaa.....
Rahma : *udah slesai speech, dah balik ktmpat duduk* sumpah, kita BEGO.
Yana : Kok kita tadi pede banget ya mereka bakalan bilang kuota 30% ?
Nia : Aaaaa...kok bisa gini siiih...????
Yana : *mendengarkan speech 2nd speaker dari govt. team* sh*t, beneran nih, aku ngomong apa ? kamu challenge kan tadi rahma ?
Rahma : *tatapan kosong*

Timekeeper : *stelah 2nd speaker govt team turun* I call upon the second speaker of the opposition team, Miss Yana

shoot, shoot, shoot! disinilah regret terbesarku.. aku bilang, klo aku mo clarify klo tdi first speaker oppisition team mo challenge. Trus tebak apa? ADJU2 NYA PADA KETAWA. Bagus. Jadilah aku ngomongin bullsh*t di sana. GAK DIDENGERIN LAGI SAMA ADJU NYA. ADA YANG TIDUR PULA. cantikk.

jadilah, aku sama nia undertime, banget. Pas verbal, kita dibombardir sma adju2 nya. aku udah gak inget apa yg mereka bilang, saking shocknya.

pas pengumuman semifinalis, aku sama nia lebih shock lagi. kita kalah TELAK. marginnya MINUS TUJUH. oh mai god. gak pernah aku kalah segitu gedenya walopun lagi BEGO. hikshiks..

tapi..gak tau juga, ya. Hari itu aku emang lagi gak bisa fokus juga sih. Lagi gak bisa berpikir dengan jernih. Jadi pas verbal dipre-elim pertama dan dua, aku verbalnya juga sama: REPETITIVE, KURANG ELABORASI, NOTHING COMES UP FROM THE SECOND SPEAKER. Pas pre-elim ketiga, lebih cantik lagi. Adjunya secara eksplisit bilang kalo dia gak bisa nangkep apa yg second speaker dari opposition team *which means he was talking about ME* bilang *mungkin itu kata halusnya dia kalo apa yg kubilang itu a total NONSENSE*. Belum lagi, dia nyalahin aku karena "second speaker gak boleh challenge, harusnya dateng dari first nya. it's too late for you to do that."

WHY OH, WHY

Rahma kan ude bilang klo dia challenge.. mungkin adju-nya dah males kali ye dengerin kita, jadi dia juga bingung mo ngasih verbal apa ke kita. That's how bad we were that day.

***

aku jadi gak mau ikut lomba di SMA 2 besok hari minggu. Karena yg nge adju juga dari JDF. Pasti nih isunya dah nyebar deh. KeBEGOan kita hari itu, pasti udah nyebar. Maaf Mbak Dida, maaf.. Kita mencontreng, eh, mencoreng namamu... Maaf SMA 9..kita buat kalian makin busuk...MAAF...

oh, aku juga baru inget. hari ini kan ada meeting JDF!! OH NO!! gimana ini, aku mo ikut tapi malu mo menunjukkan muka !!! *crying*

AAAH MALU-MALUIN BANGET SIH !

Tanggal 8, Bulan Mei, Tahun 2009

...IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE...